DON'T wear a v-neck if...

*you are over the age of 45

*you have chest hair that is managed by scissors from the neck up

*you're not wearing a bra

*you have a mole the shape of Abraham Lincoln’s head getting blown off on your neck

*you’re the president of the United States of America

*you're with a girl that you have told about a wet dream you had

*you're too cheap to pay a hooker for 40 second ass sex in the back of a taxi

DO Wear A V-Neck If...

*you believe that John McCain should star as Edward Culen in the next Twilight movie

*anyone has ever referred to you as the Fonz

*you’re confident in your nipples

*you prefer boxer-briefs

*you have ever watched all of the ROCKY movies

 

This isn’t like terrorism man, this is legit shit.

Man Walks Into a Cafe...

Crazy ass shit goes on when you're sitting in a Cafe way past the time your parents turned off CNN and finally went to bed. 

For example, where else in the world are you going to find yourself watching a whale get blown up with a bunch of Australians and a guy who is fucking obsessed with fucking using the fucking word "FUCK"  fucking a million times per fucking sentence... since it proves he's got balls right?? 

Fuck no.

He won't even fuck a hooker without paying her. That's the real crime. 

Song of the Moment: "Expectations" by Belle & Sebastian

Welcome to the Adventure

There has been a time in everyone's life when they look over at a clock and can't believe the time that they see.

This blog is dedicated to stories of what happens between "I think i should get to bed" and "Holy Shit! It's 4:08"

So here's to you.. sleepy eyed boys and girls. Wondering why the fuck you're still up.. and why the fuck you're reading this. 

We'll try to make it worth your while.